July 30, 2011-Tarot

So recently I've made several new friends (Christian friends from a church I go to, in order to make my mom happy) Well, I've developed feelings for one of these boys; and my dilemma is that he is a convert to this religion and therefore "Super-Christian," and I'm as Christian as I'm ever going to get (which is hardly at all, I don't drink or smoke and I'm kind to others, but I don't like Christian religions and how they feel about almost everything)
I can't tell if he likes me, so I haven't told him I like him yet, and I haven't gotten help from my parents because they're about as clueless and antisocial as I am about people! So I decided to read the Cards for the first time, hoping to get any sort of answer to my problem. This is what I got: The Hanged Man, The Magician, The Emperor, The Star, Love, Justice, The Fool, The High Priestess, The Tower.
I drew three cards, three times. The first card from the top of the deck, the second card from the bottom of the deck, and the last card from the middle of the deck. Each time I reshuffled before drawing the Cards.
I interpret my cards in a hopeful kind of way; but maybe someone can tell me from an outsiders point of view; I would greatly appreciate it.
Blessed Be.

Sea Shell head band

 I've always loved the sea, and I don't like when my hair gets in my eyes. So...Tah-Dah!
I had a bunch of sea shells from an earlier project, and a head band that I was going to use for a polymer clay project.
I think it kind of makes my hair look mermaid-ish. But it makes my sister look more like a mermaid, because she had beautiful, long blond hair with shimmery highlights.

 From one side.

From the other side.

In The Broom Closet

This blog post is going to be a little whiny.
The thing I hate the most about being in the Broom Closet, is that I know my parents will never accept me. And it would almost be easier if I were gay...almost. What I fear about telling them, is that once I do, I'll never see them again. I'll only tell them once I've reached a point in my life where I'm willing to make the choice between them and me.
Will I be able to finally do something that I need to do for myself, or will the love I have for my family win me over yet again?
I want to be happy, and I might stay in touch with my siblings because they don't really care what I do; my parents might not want them to talk to me, for fear of corruption, or something.
I want to be with people who believe what I believe, I want someone to love me, as well as The Goddess. It hurts to be so alone like this; surrounded by the hate and fear that Christianity brings.
Soon I will be free.

Spell Books

My library has two Pagan books, this is one of them. I've been spending the last week copying some spells that I think I might need; at least until I can buy a few of these books.
Deborah Blake is a very user friendly Witch Writer. And I hope to buy this and her other books, as well.
My library has the first three books in the Sweep series, and I have the first nine, I hope to buy the next few books in this series as well.
But, I feel that El Paso is one of the worst places to be a Witch; it's almost as Catholic as Rome.

Dream Catcher

 As I was copying spells from a library book, I had a sudden whim to make a dream catcher.
I took part of a wooden embroidery hoop,  and a spool of cotton thread.

I used a pair of tweezers as a spool-thing, to thread the cotton through the little holes.

The whole thing took about half an hour. I tied off the end and looped an amethyst pendant on the end. Amethyst is used to protect against psychic attacks; and psychic attacks often happen during times of unprotected relaxation, such as sleep or meditation. It's hard to keep up psychic protection during meditation, but practically impossible to do during sleep.

A Witch Ball

 I've recently learned about Witch Balls. Brightly colored glass balls that would protect people from evil magick; now called Gazing balls and put in modern gardens.
I decided to make one of my own.

This is a clear Christmas ornament, with blue, red, gold, copper and glittery green paint inside.
The bright colors attract evil spirits.




The ornament is then filled with several three inch threads. These capture evil spirits and negative energy, that was attracted by the bright paint.

 I stuffed the ornaments with as many stands as possible.

 Put the cap back on, and hang on a string over beds, windows, doors, over your desk, or other high energy areas.

This is another type of witch ball. This one is silver for The Goddess; and is meant to increase my powers. It's made the same way as the other witch ball, and can be hung in the same places.
If you feel that a witch ball would increase the power of a witches ladder, use the ladder to hang the ball.

Fate and Future

I've recently registered for college classes, and it's got me thinking; is this how I am starting my future?
The best I can hope for in this life is a cut rate job, a husband who might not love me and (I shudder to think) a child or two. But is that what I want? I'm going to try and get my associates degree in something, but then...
It sounds stupid and cliche, but I want adventure and romance, but not love and commitment. am I really just afraid of the future?
Sometimes, all I want is to get married and get on with, what I hope, will be the best I can hope for.
But then other times, I want to run off to Italy and eat salami and have a crazy fling with a guy named Sergio, who works in a cafe and smokes on his breaks, (even though smoke makes me gag.)
I want a future, but not a future that has been laid out before me.

Thoughts on The Curse (Females only)

I don't personally know many Pagans, but I don't know of a single woman who hasn't once cursed The Curse. As a teenager, it's a great excuse; even if you really do have cramps. But as an adult it's almost weird to say, "I have cramps," to your boss. Now, I've never been one to be ashamed of having a period; but it's really embarrassing when the male cashier at the store asks if it's that time of the month when you buy pads/tampons... well obviously it's that time of the month, or I wouldn't feel like punching you in the face right now.
I take the pill, because it lessens the intensity of the cramps, and I only have four periods in a year. It's really a plus, because I save on feminine products in the long run and the risk for a blood clot is extremely low - it might even be lower if I didn't love eggs, doughnuts and soda pop as much as I do.
I think the thing that bothers me the most, is the weepies; I could be watching Caddy shack or The Big Lebowski, and I would cry. Or I'd start crying during a car ride, because Katy Perry's "Firework", or Selena Gomez's "Who Said" came on the radio.

And after all of this, it's no wonder I curse The Curse. But as a Pagan, is it right to curse The Curse? It is after all, one of the signs or womanhood. Am I cursing the Goddess, when I curse The Curse?

Witch's Ladder Kit

Today, I finally gathered everything together for a Witch's Ladder Kit. A Witch's Ladder is a kind of knot magick, that involves tying knots and sometimes charms in order to bind a spell or intention.
To make one of your own, you will need:

1. One empty chocolate box, or similar.

 2. Remove two of the dividers.

 3. Nine feathers

 4. Odds and ends, including a small chain, a bee button, 3 green, 3 brown, and 3 yellow bottons, five leaf buttons, two buttons: one metal, one wood. Two mirrors one small on big. One key that opens nothing.

 5. Odds and ends. One claddagh, one moon and star charm, one dolphin charm, one rose charm, one ballerina, one girl charm, comedy and tragedy mask charm, one crystal heart, one Chinese coin, one glass bottle, and a pearl sun charm.

 6. Nine various holed shells.

 7. Everything in it's place

8. Strings in different colors, used for different spells.
Pink/brown for love or friendship, green for fertility, black for binding or repelling negativity. Purple for psychic abilities or spiritual power. Orange for success, yellow for intelligence and learning. Blue for calming or good fortune. Red for passion and strength. Gold for Male energy or The God. and Silver for Female energy or The Goddess.

Giving Blood

 On Thursday, I gave blood. The guy who did it messed up very badly. And for whatever reason, they were using HUGE NEEDLES! I swear they were as big as those blue yarn needles!

By Friday, a lovely bruise had developed; filled with greens, yellows, and a spattering of purple.

Here's a tip, next time you give blood, no matter how busy they are; ask them to take their time. And also, make sure they have everything ready before they find your vein.